C’est la jungle là-dehors !

Adoravelle was right when she talked about recording. The title says it all : it's a jungle out there.

I had a chat with another friend, Tsing Yoong and I shared my ideas with him. At that point in time, I reinstalled Windows Live - just for networking. The lines in blue are mine, while the lines in red are Tsing's lines.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
it's hard for me to find people, and if I do, it'd be at a snail's pace
I'm frustrated with all that
NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:
Don't be, everything starts slow, but once it kicks off that's when miracles happen.
troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
WHENNNNNNNNNnnnnnn......
I've been composing for seven years, bon sang !
SEVEN LONG YEARS !
Not to mention the sweat and tears that came along with it.
Do I get a chance ? No ! So I'm trying my hand at making a chance for myself.
And I pray that it'll come to fruition.
NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:
Mm, I've got some ideas. Pass me your best songs and naught.
troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
I haven't the samples with me atm.
The hard drive is being shared with another one of my partners.
NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:
Whenever you have them, then.
However, once you step into music circle, it's gonna be an ugly world.
troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
I know.
Remind me about it.
NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:
Oh nono dear, this is a world that's way uglier.
troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
Tell me
That I may be prepared

At that point in time, my heart sank. I was ready for it all. Anything, even if it is done with a good intention, comes with a price. And Tsing is pretty much a savant when it comes to this matter. I am just fresh, innocent as it were, and trying to grope in the dark for a light that'll help me shine my way through.

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Social Politics within Malaysian circle.
*music circle

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

That's understood, isn't it ?

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

I just want you to be ready.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

If I could tell them, I would - I'm no rocker like Hujan or high-note hitter like Mylène Farmer or Mariah Carey; I'm no personality like the one some Z-list artistes but
I know what I'm worth, and I know what these songs are capable of doing.

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Yeah, and they don't care about any of that.
and what you see and what you know about them is just a mask.

I idealised my dreams and hoped to live them for as long as I could ever remember. I know some people who are down to earth and helpful. But this ? Imagine, a headstrong personality with an equally strong heart and a passion and drive and talent for music, being hindered by someone who has more experience, but is less passion-driven - in fact, almost the opposite ? From the thought of it, I really couldn't bear it. But I went on talking, hoping that I might know much more.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

Tell me more

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

I've only blur images, but they're ugly enough. That's all I remember.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
Blur images ?

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

For one, you'll have to suck up to someone's @$$ to be known, or you're down in s*.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

And whose exactly ? -.-

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Anyone who's more capable than you.

I was prepared for that. I know there are such people.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

And who could be ?
Not that I trust in my ability entirely,
but

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Mawi for instance.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

Ha !
Not that I trust in my ability entirely, but if I do have to be someone's protégée, I'll be the protégée of someone with talent
Someone whom I KNOW has talent

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Oh nono dear, the world isn't that ideal.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

I know my ideas always get me into trouble for that.

I was referring to the way I structured my ideals. It's a dangerous habit of mine, as I take great risks, and when I do, I don't just talk about a casualty or two. I talk about big blunders made along the way or even sudden showers of bad luck.

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Bleh, leave it to me, I'll see what I can do.
But, will you mind doing small gigs for moment?
troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

If I have a performing team, then maybe so
I can't do a one-man show

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Solo act?
Awww.
Why not?

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

Because not everyone has the stuff I require. Like synth voices for example. If there is, I could very well do a one-man show with at least three songs ready at hand.
But for the most part,
I can't jam on piano keys all alone !

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Pop songs LoL.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

But how many pop songs can only be performed on piano and voice ? Relatively few !

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

I thought all could be done lol. Well, I trust you have the ability to do so. I know you did a few songs back then.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

That too, was few, not many.....
The few songs I recorded on Ms Susan's Clavinova were original ones (except for the few adaptations I did to existing songs)

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:
How many songs are there roughly?

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

Okay. Lemme count : Kasih, Le Paradoxe, My Bequests. Three.
Original ones, of course.
And the lain-lain, they were all for the end-year concerts.

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Pass them to me, and whatever you can think of lol.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

All in the hard drive. Friend's got it.
I'll send you all the samples the next time you come online la...

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:
I want full songs too
mail it or something, or if I'm free I'll come get it.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:
They're full ones, the reason why I'm calling them samples because most of them are in AMR format.
Phone recording.
The best player to play them is QuickTime

NoFuture : We are always gonna want just a little longer. says:

Awh, alrighty.
I'll see what I can cook up, if anything, will be a solo act.

troisnyx* : cleaning up MSN, sh. says:

okay.
I really wanna do this.

To each field of work, its own joys and pains. The chagrin of the music industry is, in itself, overwhelming. I say this even before I step into the recording studio, even when I hardly have any connections to people who record (except for Adoravelle), even before I start making an impact. I went through this chagrin for seven years running, ever since I first started composing more frequently.

I get in there with the hopes that if they do see through my heart, they'd see a sincere person who isn't easily manipulated.

I get in there with the hopes of touching hearts in Malaysia and all over the world.

I get in there with the hopes of taking people away from the world and towards the realm of light. There needs to be more good, more hope in this place that we live in.

I will do what it takes. The emotional pain may be much, but I will endure it. Jesus Christ, towards His death on the cross, shed all his 3.5 litres of blood just to save me and the rest of the world. Dad worked - and still works - hard in the field repairing aircraft, getting occasional burns and cuts and bruises from the spare parts. That, in itself, is blood and sweat and tears.

I will endure all this for their sake.