A final prayer for my friends

Dear Lord, I really want to thank you for everything that you've given unto me. Friends, family, meals on the table, a place to live… everything, Lord. Most of all, thank you for being with me and loving me.

Jesus, I have a feeling that I'm being taken for a slave. I don't know. I somehow get the impression that I'm a problem in my dad's eyes, in my family's eyes. Yet, I have managed to touch the hearts of my friends and lecturers. They have seen me as a joy to have around.

Maybe I should be away forever, for them to realise how much I tried to love them, despite the mistakes I've made.

Lord, I offer up to you my friends. Especially the ones whom I've been close with. No matter where they are, they've shared themselves with me, and I've done the same with them. They have lifted me up and you have given them to me, and I truly thank you for them. Lord, I'm glad to know that I have touched their hearts through song, through the things I did, sometimes even through the things I spoke… I know that throughout my time with them, I was myself. They waited for me to come, and they said hi to me and hugged me, took me in an embrace when I returned. And they said I was precious to them prior to me leaving National Service. Yet, the people at home were the ones who said that I was a burden to them, sheer nothing. These same people wept on the day I left for Miri.

Lord, I thank you that you have taken me in your embrace, that you have called me your own. Yes, Lord, you are a Father to me more than my biological father is. Forgive him, Lord, for his love is so conditional. He doesn't know the tears I'm crying, but you do. He doesn't know the friends whom you've sent to me, and he's not obliged to know. But you do, and you know each and everyone of them by name and by the measure of their hearts. I don't even complain about the people I have because the challenges of today are different, and he's not obliged to understand them. Lord, help me to come to a decision…

I trust in you, Lord, with all my heart. Let your will be done in me. I really need to pray about this. These are wonderful friends you've given me - the few that I keep in touch with, but they have shown me how it is to live, despite their faults themselves.

Lord, please give me the answer. I feel like leaving this place and going to a new place altogether. Yet, my heart feels moved by my friends… Particularly those who have been there for me. You've really blessed me, and I wonder if I'll ever feel the same if I'm there.

I love them, just as I love myself, and I've even thought of spilling unconditional love to those whom I find it hard to do so.

Please bless each and everyone of them, and bless my family too. True that they may not be providing me my bread and butter, but it doesn't matter to whom I show unconditional love, Lord. Yes, many people don't understand why it is that I'm able to love so much. It's because you're in me. Please, Lord, have mercy on me, because I have failed to live up to my dad's expectations despite the effort I put in, and have mercy on all those who have hurt me, especially my dad.

My heart, mind, memories, experiences, body, soul, it's all yours. Have your way in me, Lord. I am yours. I admit that I'm not ready to lose my friends, especially when you've given them to me to help me with life's challenges. They've helped me a lot more than my family has, especially when many of them are in the same situation as I am.

Please bless each and every one of the people who have been in my life, distant or close. I am aware that living in the past can be dangerous, and that I have to live in the present and look forward to the future. Jesus, in the case where I have to say goodbye to the people who have cherished me for who I am, let me always remember that you're the best friend that I can ever have, and that I'll remain with you forever. <3

I thank you so much for loving me.

Please especially bless the team on KHW and KHFR… The team that I've been very close with for the past one year. I feel sad terribly sad to leave them, and if you will it, I don’t wish to be apart from them. I've imagined ourselves together, somehow, and I want to show them your love… I want to continue to show them your love. I'm also aware that there's a whole new world waiting out there for me, when I go abroad, and there are people who need your love to be shown to them. Some of the people that I've worked with over there can really make my heart ache, and have done so even, but otherwise, you've given them to me as a rather wonderful gift.

Right now I can imagine how St Paul felt when he was about to leave his friends in Ephesus.

Lord, if it be your will, allow me to have a way to discuss with these close friends of mine. But if it should be that I can't speak to them anymore, your will be done, Lord. Take me to where you call me, and send me your Holy Spirit. I need you badly, from the bottom of my heart, I'm crying out, Jesus… please heal my wounds.


Post a Comment