"But Christ can use any level of skill and ability for His glory and movement. That’s the brilliant thing and why I love to play for Him. I know you’ll know as a drummer, that none of us (but Christ Himself) are fully competent ‘amazing’ drummers ; if we were, why would we bother ? I’ve never played and come away thinking ‘wow - I blew myself away there’. Musicians are never happy with their level, which I believe can be beneficial in Christian musicians, if dealt with His way - i.e. not hating your playing in the first instant. Anyway, getting to the point : God is so great as He can move through any of us and our playing for Him - honed or un-honed. Often other worshippers have come to me and sang God’s praises as He touched them through a fill I attempted or rhythm. Praise God ! It makes me want to jump back on the kit and sing with them in praise back to Him for His actions. Thankfully God seems to have strengthened my heart against me ever taking the wrong praise for my drumming (’big headed’ approach), I always feel really encouraged from God over my drumming in that He wants to and does use it ! And all you other drummers out there : NEVER THINK GOD ISN’T USING YOUR DRUMMING -that’s a lie from Satan.
*......sniff.......*
Just reading this comment from another user on the same forum made me weep. I wish I could do that someday............. Fine, I really thank God for giving me room to practise (finally !) - which will be open in my common room on Wednesday the 16th. And I really thank mom and dad for deciding to get me a drum kit. Thing is, I have always yearned to touch someone's life with the beats. I am not sure ; I do not know if something has actually moved me, but on every occasion where I hear or read a recount of someone having touched people's lives with a fill or a rhythm he/she attempted, I tend to cry.
To start off, I do not even know how to hone my skills. And apparently, my sound just sucks. Or at least, mom says so. The day before yesterday, when I was testing the specs for the DTXPRESS IV, I did four bars and a fill, just to be brief. Mom was comparing me (again !) to two other members in the Sunset Band - both of which were already professionals. Daniel, however, saw me drumming to a song and said that I could make it big someday. I feel so...... like a novice. I just want to cry. I. Just. Want. To. Cry. Wish someone could read this and be moved and speak words of wisdom while I go offline, while I go to the common room and immerse myself in prayer.
But why me, of all people ? Why not the kid at the end of the class who has the stature of a drummer ?
And why all that scrutiny (especially from mom) ? Why does the rhythm keep on pounding in my head ?
I will embark on another journey - not a journey of self-recognition, but a journey of self-denial - this Wednesday. And I hope He will be there to use my hands and feet as I pound out the rhythm. I honestly hope so !
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