Because you deserve appreciation, too

My dad's the only parent I've got now. I lost my mom some two years ago.

Dads, like all of us, want and need to be appreciated too. After all, I can take the example of my dad. He worked hard outside KL for ten whole years, and when mom passed away, he returned to KL and now he is supporting me and my grandmother. And my cousin Rin. Now, I can't imagine the type of work he does in his place of work, but I do know it comes with a lot of pain.

And I, like any other kid, would definitely want to appreciate him but it seems that I'm just not getting through. Tomorrow is Father's Day. When Rin is here, we'd generally do something special for him. Now, I know I'd probably be regarded as the worst daughter of all, the unworthiest to ever deserve life on the planet for not being able to do anything special for him... All I ever do is study and do creative projects, and these holidays, I've even become immersed in my games. But I definitely want to tell him how much I love him, despite the times he made me angry, despite his faults, despite my own faults. Because God the Father has given me a father, through which I've been brought into existence today.

To be honest, I'm writing this because I love my dad. Well, I know he just made me angry and disappointed in him for calling me a liar when I told him what I honestly believed to be true (even if it didn't turn out to be true, later on). On top of that, he left the house in anger for work. Now, the first thing that'd pop into my mind would be, You try to set an example for me and this is the example you set ? But then, I also realise that he and I are both human, and we're both trying to make life wonderful for each other. Well... I wish I could, at least. I don't know what I can do in my own capacity. It seems that studying hard, making him proud, helping him around the house from time to time... and giving him a hug from time to time just doesn't seem to suffice.

I kept on thinking about how some people resented their parents just because they made them make the same mistakes as they did. I felt that way at some point in time. But I know, as I write this post, that my dad, caring for me like a father would, does not want me to make the same mistakes as he did... but in the process, I get caught up in other mistakes as well. I guess it only goes to show how human he is, and how hard he really is trying to provide for me, to love me.

In truth, even though sometimes what my dad does can turn me off, I don't regard him as a burden. No. I regard him as my dad, and I love him. I once made a promise to my mom, some years before she died, that I'd take care of my dad in his old age. I will keep that promise, God willing. Because I'm sure he wants to see me shine in life, even as an adult, and that he doesn't want to be far away from me. And more - because I'm only thankful for what he's done for me.

Dad, I know that I'm not capable of doing anything special for you tomorrow, but I do know one thing : I'll be praying to God the Father, from whom we all come, for you. May the Lord bless you and keep you in his loving care. And also, even if we turn each other off sometimes, remember that you have succeeded in your mission as a father, and if you think you've failed, you're downright wrong. Remember that I love you, no matter what.

A happy and blessed Father's Day to you.


Joshua at: June 19, 2010 at 9:31 PM said...

Is he going to read this?

troisnyx* at: June 20, 2010 at 2:16 AM said...

Too late, he did. :D And it did bring us together, praise the Lord !

Joshua at: June 21, 2010 at 5:56 PM said...

Excellent. Praise the Lord! :D

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