The sufferings of the final Open Mic Night

The final Open Mic of the academic year was held in the EleHouse on Saturday 21 May 2011. It was also Unbirth’s birthday, and he had requested a song, Still Alive from the first Portal game. The other two songs I sang were John Denver — Annie’s Song and The Bangles — Eternal Flame.

BUT I TELL YOU, I SUFFERED OTL.

-___-“

The list of things which went right:

• Eight people whom I invited had turned up, so I had quite an audience.
• There were a few people who recognised me, including the organisers themselves.
• I had an okay voice.
• It was filled with people wanting to perform, which was a great thing.
• A number of people knew Still Alive. ^_^

The list of things which went wrong:

• The keyboard was brought in at the last minute — I was deprived of the keyboard I had used in previous Open Mic Nights, because it’s now with the organiser’s son in Kent!
• This keyboard had no sustain pedal.
• The lower register was lower than usual.
• I had to bend and look at the keys half the time because of how it all was…
• I had next to no practice, except  for the vocals.

And I’m glad and grateful to God and to the members of the audience that they enjoyed my performance. But soon after that, someone came… a music student… with his electric guitar, and BLEW EVERYONE’S MINDS AWAY. Not that I’m complaining about him or being envious of him — he is good, and he should keep it up. But I wanted to do 10x better than I did that night, and I knew I could… and yet, given all that I had, that was all I could do. I have no keyboard to my name (or else I could’ve brought it, I could have even practised!), and my goal has always been to touch hearts with my music. If I’m not going to be given a chance to do that, then my goal is always going to be something out of my reach. Sad, but true.

Thanks to Marta, Glenn, Kevin, Sengnom, Mary, Shelby, Carolyn and Emmanuel for being there for me. Thanks also to Suet Li and all those who watched and gave feedback on the vid. Thanks to all who supported me even from a distance, even though they couldn’t come, and thanks especially to Glenn for taking the vid, and to Kevin for taking the still pictures (coming soon)!

Silence, examen.

Tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. (BST), I begin my LLB Year 2 examination.

My first paper is, of all things, EU Law. I am nearly prepared; I just need to get my cases and statutes straight. I must admit that I am quite nervous — because I know my subject matter, the Lord be praised! — however, I have a tendency of forgetting case names and article numbers. I pray God that this won’t happen this time…!

I thank all of you who have been here for me throughout, and I humbly ask you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

To all who are sitting for exams at the moment, all the best and God bless you!

Ace Attorney: Troisnyx. NOT.

The Tort Law module for Year 2 included a moot, which took place over a period of three weeks. The topic was similiar to that of our dissertation — it was defamation. Over the three weeks, Year 2 students were decked in suits, or dark colours and white, armed with bundles and case reports, standing tall and shouting “OBJECTION!” really loudly… well, you get what I mean. They were defending their case. But the reality lies in the outcome of the case: get an acquittal/a successful appeal or go hungry again. And in the case of us law students, the maxim reads: do the moot or fail your Tort Law module.



I’m not, and I never was, the best of debaters. I reluctantly did this moot. It has always come to pass that I was given the best evaluation/elected Best Speaker for the session, but my side would ultimately lose. Though I knew the possibility of this occuring was very high (and the facts were always assumed to be in favour of the respondents in the case we were given), I wanted to turn the case around, and for once, I put aside my memories of past debates and set a new target: to turn the case around so that it would be in the appellants’ favour, for once.

Friday was April Fools’ Day, but it wasn’t for me. It was the last day of mooting, and I was to have my moot on that day. I prepared my material the night before, and I only had three hours to prepare my work — my preparation for the moot was sandwiched between Mass and Quarant’ore (the Forty Hours Devotion to the Blessed Sacrament), the latter taking place at midnight. I prepared a print list, and I was relieved to have a burden shaken off me.

On the day proper, I was dressed in my favourite blouse (see picture ^_^), a brown A-line skirt (also my favourite), black tights and boots. I had makeup on me. After the 10:00 EU lecture, I did my job application for the Student Union, and went straight to the LRC to get my bundles printed. I borrowed a yellow highlighter from a friend (yellow is always the best option for bundles, I’ve seen it during my placement) and began highlighting the parts which I felt I’d use in my case. In the process of printing and highlighting, I discarded two pages, because I felt I wouldn’t be using them in the debate. Then I had a second lecture — on Commercial Law this time, and after that, I did a quick test run with the Student Union officer just so that I could build up my confidence. I felt, if a lay person can follow the debate and keep up with the page-turning, I should be alright.

Minutes before we were called into the seminar room, I tried keeping my calm by watching Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright — a DS game about lawyers and court proceedings.

Our moot was supposed to take place at 3:30, but because the first group for the afternoon was not there, seminar tutor Ralph Camp called us in. There were three of us in the group — we were 2 against 1. The senior appellant spoke, followed by the senior respondent, and then it was my turn.

I had overestimated the amount of pages I was going to use for my bundle. I had twelve pages — take away the first pages of the case and you have nine — and I was only going to use four, I felt. For the “case”, I submitted that the Reynolds test was not meant to be a comprehensive checklist on which the defence of the media would fail, and that the client should be allowed the defence of honest comment.
The “judge” dropped a bombshell question on me, thinking that I’d be unable to answer… After thirty seconds of silence, I found a page in the bundle which I felt could help me in my case and said, “May I direct your Lordship’s attention to page 7 of the bundle…”

But no matter what I did, it just didn’t help me. The case was in favour of the respondent.

—————————————————————————

We were all given a “competent” note; I was the best evaluated of the three students, but we lost the case. This mirrors my past debates, does it not? I left the place shortly after our leg of the moot had ended. I was tired and dejected, to say the least.

I told my relatives in Essex about what had happened. I was positive I did not make any mistakes as far as the preparation and materials were concerned. The odds were indeed stacked against me. And I was told, if it’s for this, then I should have no regrets.

But in actual fact, I do.

Even when it came to debates taking place outside the law school, I was never able to hold my own. I can almost never come up with solid answers instantly — I sometimes take a day or two to find the right words. And here’s the worst part — I’ve lost every single debate I’ve taken part in. People see my track record and they’ll know I am not a person clients can rely on. In the event they do, they’d lose their case. I was harrowed after every debate. I felt I’d lose my sanity. And the more I’m going through it, the heavier my cross becomes. I AM NOT CUT OUT TO BE A LAWYER. If it takes all my previous debates… and the moot… to tell people that my strengths lie somewhere else, so be it.

During my two-week placement in MY, I watched court proceedings, dressed for the court and even fancied myself as an Ace Attorney. Now, reality strikes — I’m not an Ace Attorney. That can be left to Phoenix Wright and his group of prosecutors and defendants.

So why am I going on with LLB, you ask? It’s simply because I don’t deny that it’ll help me at some point. English law works best where the heart of common law is… in England and Wales! Nowhere else! I am here, in the place where law and history come alive, and it’s fascinating just to think that. For my preferred field of work (I want yearn to go on a musical journey), I’ll need intellectual property and a few things related to commerce. I’ll need Contract Law (for obvious reasons) and Tort Law (in the event defamation takes place). These are specialised areas of law which I believe I’ll have to keep track of (or at least have an awareness of), if I want to live my dream to the fullest. And I would want to live my dream in the place where law and history come alive.

For now, then, I’ll just carry this cross day by day. But I will NEVER forget the events that have led to me carrying this cross.

FED. UP.

ALL I WANTED WAS A BLOG MAKEOVER.

AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET IT.

Vendrediiiiiiii

Open Mic Night is this Friday at the EleHouse.
I'd love to sing but I don't know what to do.

What exactly is going on ?

After stocking up on goods and settling some issues and helping a lost newcomer and paying a visit to the recording room, I paid a visit to the University of Hertfordshire Students' Union (UHSU) offices on the first floor of the EleHouse (think ground floor, first floor and not first floor, second floor). I wanted to find out about one society whose booth was not put up for Freshers' Fair last Friday.



It was the Arts and Entertainment Society (AES).
Yes, the one which I wanted to rename HEARTS (Hertfordshire Arts).




Not knowing what to do, I asked the reception ; I was soon directed to UHSU Societies. And there, I heard something I was not expecting to hear : that society has yet to find someone to take over.

It saddens me because I had set my sights on AES from the very beginning. If I had wanted to act, I'd have joined the Drama Society. But I'm not a fan of stage acting. I'm more of a fan of voice acting, and I do that from time to time. There's a voice acting project going on between me and a few friends, but that is to be done at our own time, considering all of us have our obligations.

I set my sights on AES because I love singing. I love staging performances, and not necessarily performances that involve acting. I had planned a music video with the Creepie theme song (the French version, not the other versions) and it'd have been much easier had AES been around. Now not even UHSU knows whether the society is still there. I don't blame anyone. I'm just... sad.

In the event AES really ceases to exist, where do I go from here ? What do I even join as a second society ? How do I find people to get this music video project to take off ? Where do I, where do people like me, get to sing from their hearts ? How would each of us know that the other existed ?

As it is, I'm looking for people who'd be interested in my LLB class ; I've found one or two people. I need fourteen to start a society, and I'm definitely not in the position to manage it. All I can do is contribute substantially to the project. Unless we get people to manage it every day of the week. *sigh*

I somehow hope... I somehow hope I can do something. Things seem rather bleak right now but I know the journey ahead of me is still long.

A fire broke out in Chapman Hall today.

And in the haste of getting out when the fire alarms rang, I had totally forgotten my camera.

But still, quite a number of weird things happened in Chapman Hall today. First I was locked in, then I was locked out of Entrance B (the main door was badly damaged...), and now the fire...

The fire came from one of the kitchens, close to the laundrette, and we saw fumes coming out of the window... Here's hoping that nothing severe happened...

You know what irks me ?

All the doors in the law school, at least, have little wheel-like things that actually denote if they're in or not, or whether or not they're in the midst of a lecture. Now what irks me is...

...when someone denotes that he is in but in actual fact, he is not.

I feel like an odd duck

From what I discovered during Orientation Week, I'm the only new second-year student for LLB Law.

I'm now in St Albans, waiting for the time where the talk would be held in the lecture theatre, feeling like an odd duck... The only persons I feel I can speak to are Jerome and Kevin Rogers (who were both present during induction day). I did encounter Jerome, but... I'm pretty much on my own. I need to get as much information as I can into this PC before anything else happens.

The thing about me is that I knew I had to go to St Albans today, but I just didn't know what for. I knew that since I was the only second-year student among the new international students, I had to come earlier than the rest. So here I am. I'm stuck in the cafeteria and I'm wondering if I can ever fit in and make friends.

I also need to find out about bus passes, books, my schedule...

I probably won't be alone in the lecture theatre, but what happens if I'm all alone ?

Indeed, I can't help but worry, worry, worry about all that's gonna happen today. All that I ever know is that I'll have to keep Microsoft OneNote on throughout the talk. I hope my PC can last till then.
The second half of today will be a lot more fun, because it involves all my flatmates and there's a sort of meeting in Kitchen 27 with the team that goes round helping students in their residences. But I'm not sure about now. As in right now.

Whoever said social media are not for emotional expression really needs to GAL.

And by GAL, I mean GET. A. LIFE.

Now this might come to readers as a direct attack on those who uphold the view that social media is not for expression of emotions, but let me make my stance clear enough here.

A person whom I encountered upheld the view that social media are not for expression of emotions, as it makes the person making these expressions look vulnerable. Direct quote from her post : for social desirability, you can choose to deceive or you can choose to stay away from it !

No. No. NO. A THOUSAND TIMES NO.

With all due respect, there has to be some form of emotional expression at some point. We can't just go on making statements which as as cold, dark and grey as the current British weather. We can't go about deceiving others. And we obviously can't be going all Sunshiney-Happy-Land all the time, if that's the picture we want to portray to the public.

I am a sort-of hardcore Twitter user, and I hardly ever touch Facebook. I have YouTube and I use it regularly enough. Now, seriously, as I said several months back, pardon me if I can't make a mind-engaging discussion, because the only part of humanity that I can appeal to is the heart.

Let's keep it real here. Each person has his vulnerabilities. Organisations have their downtimes. I firmly believe many people will uphold my view : we're not on Twitter to gain cheap publicity, but respect from the many followers we might have. Or if not, we'd at least want constancy from our friends. Respect comes with a high price. If you want others to respect you, you have to tell them things as they are. If I'm tired and I can't work on something because of my fatigue, I'd say it. If I'm irritated, sometimes angered, by a malfunctioning app and I can't go on with what I'm supposed to do, I'd say it. Because people are anticipating changes from me. It might be a letdown, but only a temporary one. At the end of the day, even with a minor emotional setback you still get to reap the fruits of your efforts. It's much better than saying "It's in progress, it's in progress", but in reality it takes several months, even years to finish it.

What we say in normal sentences also reflects some emotional expression. Here's the irony of it : the writer of that post actually made her emotions pretty visible in her tweets. It's hypocritical to say that social media isn't for emotional expression because we aren't robots. We react to things.

Followers and friends can be an impatient lot. If you've proven your worth to them, yes, they can afford to wait for perhaps a longer period. But if you're just about to flex your muscles and you fail to tell them how things are, or if you fail to speak to them with a sense of emotion, with a sense of humanity, they'd just be turned off... and you fall, fall, fall, into nothingness.

Let me put it on record that social media, like any other medium, are not to be used for direct, personal attacks. I've been through such incidents and I don't wanna go through them again. We're not talking slander here.

Twitter used to ask the question "What are you doing ?". Now, they changed it to "What's happening ?" Whilst a whole lot of possibilities are opened with the latter question, many of us use the old formulation. These tweets of ours tend to be emotion-filled, even with small letters. But that's what people are looking for - the human touch. If, say, a person whom I follow happens to have had a bad day and he tells us about it, it's the human touch we're looking for, not his vulnerability.

Of course, we're not expected to go "I am happy" or "I am sad", unless we are speaking in Hymmnos. If we're not tweeting along the lines of "Was yea ra" or "Was au gaya", these emotional tweets can and will look cheesy and superficial. But emotion is a key part of humanity, and social media are created for humanity, and not vice versa. To take out the emotional bit from social media is to make a mockery of the whole community of users.

And no, if I am expected to mince my words here just because I've hurt some readers' sentiments, no, I shall not do it. I have an integrity to keep !


See also :
Wrong Channel

New workstation from a new perspective

With the new laptop and new camera, I decided to have a little fun. : )

Nothing's changed about the workstation.
Oh wait.
There's a laptop now, and the workstation is no longer the PC desk, but the.... *gasps* DINING TABLE !

In times like these I am just tempted to leave.

Dear person who wrote this post on the TV3 Aidilfitri advertisement which was taken back.


I am writing on behalf of all Malaysians, particularly those who hold strongly to their faiths. I am one of them.

Let me put it on record that I am okay with you pointing out things which shouldn't be in the ad. But I am not okay with you belittling people of other faiths. Especially the Christians.

All this while, we, like other Malaysians, have only given, given, given, to the point of no return, and this is what we get in return. Thank you very much, lah. *rolls eyes and facepalms* In times like these I am just tempted to leave my beloved Malaysia.

A white skullcap on the head does not denote papal notions just as much as bleeding in church, going in there in one's nothingness denotes blasphemy. In actual fact, it does not. I've seen people with white skullcaps on the head who go to pray in the mosques and they're a lot more staunch in their faiths than anyone else. Call me a dreamer, but I'm telling you the cold hard facts. The people making this ad obviously did not have any of these influences in mind. They were obviously expecting the light to be the "light of the world', in the midst of the darkness. Whilst there are false lights, we can't be expected to read anything and everything as a false light.

Maybe it is true that they should have rethought the influences they were going to use, but to them, and to most of us, it's nothing but a stereotypical kampung influence. Even after several glances, we wouldn't find anything wrong. Reason being: it is a family-centred ad, with the light of the world as the subject, the lights in the midst of darkness.

Eschew the argument about the Western influences. External influences are hitting Malaysia, and that's what we have to watch out for. By "external" here I mean "the relativist thoughts that have hit the media, which should not be there at all costs". But to brand every single reader as leaving local ideology, religious ideology for something else is taking us for fools, honestly. Most Malaysian Muslims I've met are in KL, the apparent "heart of all illuminati", and they are MUCH stronger than you even think.

The worst part is this : why hasn't a single soul got the nerve, the backbone, to stand up and defend his notions in actually creating the friggin advertisement ? One holler from PAS, apparently, from what I heard in the comments, and there it goes, it is taken down. Whilst I personally salute TV3 for actually respecting the sentiments of a section of the Muslim population, I still believe that a statement should've at least been released concerning the intentions behind the ad.

If there is a piece of material which I should call seditious, I will not call Namewee's song seditious for obvious reasons. Rather, I would call your work seditious, and I, like most Malaysians out there, will expect you to rethink your influences once again.

Thank you.

Signed on behalf of all Malaysian readers.
Don't even try to shut us up.
troisnyxétienne

Also see :

Iklan Ribena Ada Unsur Illuminati

Letter meme

Dear Anthony,



I don't really know how to tell you this, but purple hedgehogs wanna destroy you. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter under the bus and I saw you sit on my boyfriend. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your car, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.



Love always,


Annette.



Here's how you do it:


Dear (someone you recently called/talked to),


I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it When(2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8), but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).


(12),


Name

AND THEN TAG PEOPLE.



1) What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes


2) Which is your birth month?

January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear


3) Which food do you prefer?

Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper


4) What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over


5) What's the color of your underwear?

Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner


6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?

One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - Ashamed

7) Your mood right now?

Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks


8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear



9) The first letter of your first name?

A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards



10) The last letter in your first name?

A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?

Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose


12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck with the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

If descent really had its way...

I can be thankful today that I am a child of Yahweh Sabaoth for several reasons. In fact, innumerable reasons which I sometimes I can't think of.

I was raised with love by a loving pair of parents and I had two sets of grandparents. Of course, there was what people would call a "twist of fate" in mid-2008, when I lost my mother, but that's all behind me now. The very reason why people are attracted to me is because I do things with passion and with love. I have much more of the latter these days, because I pray really hard for everything to be done in the love of the Lord. That way, I know I can't go wrong unless I make some blunder of my own undoing.

But if descent really had its way, if caste really had its way, I wouldn't only be the least among my peers in a figurative sense. I'd also be the least among them in a literal sense.

To tell you point blank... I was told, in a spiteful remark (now the person who told me claimed to speak the truth ; I'm taking it for what it is), that my mother's ancestors were of the lowest caste.

That having been said, I'd be a half-Pariah.

But do I even care ?

Whilst Encyclopedia Britannica actually mentions that these people have long been oppressed as the outcastes of India, almost never in my life was I treated as an outcast. I felt the love of the Lord God in me through my friends, through the things I did, through the way I was raised by my parents (at least for the most part). I was never an outcast, from the way I saw things, from the way people saw me. The only people who really did oppress me were the people from my mother's family. Also, if I really did have traces of that group of people, they can't assume that I'm from them because I act very differently from their purported characteristics, and I believe I can say the same for every person in that group.

The one person who slapped this fact onto me (I don't know how far it rings true, but I'm assuming it does) is close to home. Very close. I'm in her proximity like, everyday. Sometimes when I think of it, my heart aches. It pines, because imperfect as I am, I did my best to give her my love.

The love of the Lord has allowed me not to feel resentment towards the people who oppressed me by making such statements. That same love has allowed me to listen to my family and friends. That same love has allowed me to be easily approached by my friends whenever they want to share something with me.

_____________________________________________

The caste system is definitely not divine creation. It's human. Now I'm aware that my mother's ancestors followed the Jati closely. It was only somewhere along the line that they converted to Christianity. Even my mother's parents kept to that system. My late mother informed me about the caste system, and it was then that it dawned upon me : it's a system that shouldn't remain.

Where divinity seeks to unify, humanity only seeks to divide. I know it, you know it, we all know it. Segregation based on caste, like racism, sexism and whatever other -isms that we can list which fall into the category, has been passed on from generation to generation because of the hateful statements of the parents, elders in the family or people around them. It only gets worse when one group of people with similar hateful thoughts gang up together and form... well, part of the administration. Where politicians play the racial (or even caste) card, the people would begin to consider the administration as Public Enemy #1, even if they remain silent.

The whole talk on the caste system has largely died down in Malaysia, where the issue of main concern is racialism (I shall not go into that for now ; expect a discours about that in future). We have the three major ethnicities battling for unity in a relatively peaceful nation with absolute values and battered politics. Even this has somewhat died down with the recent introduction of the 1Malaysia concept, which promotes unity among all the ethnicities in Malaysia, equal opportunities for all, where the people are put first (to put it blankly, quite a large number of people question this policy, what with the subtle segregation that has happened in the past). However, the talk about caste has been disseminated behind closed doors, among family members and elders. Anyone would agree with me that children are colour-blind ; they only want to be among friends, regardless of who their friends are, what their colour is. But when I look at it, whilst I walk this already blighted path with my friends (note : thorns and sharp rocks ahead), the elders in our family choose to succumb to the evil of segregation and disseminate a piece of information which we do not already need !

People are said to group with other people for a sense of self-belonging and for power - getting over everybody else. As much as we love to compete with other human beings, as much as we love to get at the top, I don't understand why people choose to segregate. I don't understand why people chose to cling onto their groups. The same rings true for people who believe, like me, that the Lord's love is unconditional and reaches out to all men. I don't understand why people don't want to get out of their comfort zones and extend their loving hands to others, particularly people who struggle in society. Take it from me : it never is nice to always remain at the top. I never understood these unloving human tendencies, and I never will.

The Lord made us in different colours because if he made us all the same, it'd be just plain boring. There's no need to further segregate us into subgroups because at the end of the day, we all belong to the human race - an embattled race indeed. It's already heartbreaking when we are forced to deal with life's injustices. We don't need another case of injustice to top the already unsightly pile. À bas the caste system !

As I said some time back, I only want to be identified as a Malaysian, and identified by my beliefs. I do not need the extra tag of race to come into play. And don't even think caste will ever come into question.

The author has forgiven the person who had thrown that remark at her some time ago.

The indoctrination of relativism

Now, I'm not going to go with the usual drumbeat of the media and how ideas of relativism have proliferated on our screens - all screens. Rather, I'm going to rant speak about the indoctrination of the whole idea of relativism.

 
In one of my earliest posts, The Rationale of Moral Studies (which was written some four years ago), I spoke about how lame our grade/high-school Moral Studies syllabus actually is. It doesn't do much to promote morality.

Today again, two years after I had to sit for my compulsory subjects in college - namely Malaysian Studies and Moral Studies, I speak about Moral Studies.

Now, Moral Studies seemed to be sort of a welcome change from the lameness that we had to put up with back in our high school years. Issues that were not addressed, including capital punishment, abortion, euthanasia, sexuality, disputes, divorce, custody and lots of things that are pretty much closely related to today's society were brought up in the class. We learned a lot from people with different schools of thought : Kantian ethics, utilitarianism, teleology, deontology, you name it, we had it all. We also revisited the teachings of all the faiths in Malaysia.

However, I felt disturbed back then. I didn't know why. I was indeed relieved that the Moral Studies class was conducted in English, unlike in high school. Yet, this is not the type of information you'd wanna show to your mom, let alone to your kids.

Utilitarianism, teleology and deontology were the three moral theories that were actually given emphasis in the syllabus, and that was as bright as day when I looked through the Moral Studies papers and saw how many people actually used these theories. Almost the entire class was swayed into doing it. And so was I.

In class, I tried wherever possible, with my moderately weak knowledge and grip on my faith, to be a minister to others. Where there were debates on capital punishment, abortion, euthanasia and other things, I tried my level best to stick to what I believed in, even if sometimes I ran out of words to explain why. Where we talked about the institution of marriage, I boldly proclaimed that marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman, and that divorce would only mean we are separating what God has joined. I championed reconciliation. I often felt disturbed from these disputes. But where someone would stand up for the truth, I made sure to give applause. Even if the person ended up using what verged towards profanity. But what was disheartening was that quite a number in the class were swayed by relativism.

Relativism is a direct contrast to unconditional love. *takes a deep breath*

"We kill our young in the womb just so that we can live free and easy. It's the lesser of two evils." Âllo, the greater of two evils is killing, regardless of whether we live free and easy or not. Also,  if we really love like we say we do, then we would willingly raise a child through a union of marriage. Not simply because we want to.

And this also opens the way for something along the lines of "We can turn off life support for our parents, since they're brain-dead." Just because someone has a disability, be it physical, mental or emotional, temporary or permanent, doesn't mean that he's any less than a person. Euthanasia and abortion are reminiscent of Hitler's Third Reich in that 1) an entire subgroup of humans beings is wiped out, 2) people who are considered "less than people" are wiped out too. There is no pre-personal or post-personal existence of a human being.

"In-vitro fertilisation is the way to go." Ugh, trust me, you wouldn't wanna live in a situation where the kid doesn't know who his father is, and revolts because of that. That only spells the instant breakdown of familial love.

"Sex is just something you do ; have fun and be safe." NO. Sex is sacred, just as the entire human existence is. It is an act of love between a man and a woman. When successful, it gives offspring. It's a beautiful thing, an intimate thing, which should not be overplayed by the media and relativists to make us look like nothing than mere animals.

"We're feminists, we have the right to kill offspring in our wombs." Âllo ! Did anyone even note that this notion was created by irresponsible men who wish to avoid taking care of the child ? Sure, the guy would convince the girl that she's a feminist, and on the pretext of exercising her rights, she goes to the abortion clinic. And whilst the guy goes away stock-free, the girl sits down and ponders upon what would've been had the child been alive, as well as the many birthdays the child would've had. Real feminism does not kill.

"Save the animals ! Go veg !" Well, if you've read Roald Dahl's The Sound Machine (and I'm pretty sure Dahl wrote this), he imagined a machine that can pick up the sounds of plants screeching in pain when they are cut. If this is true, and if plants can feel pain, so can the animals. And just because life can feel pain, are you going to cut off all your plants and vegetables and survive on... synthetic material ? Ultimately, all that we get comes from plants and animals. It all depends on how wisely we use them. I was veggie from my childhood years simply because I hated meat... but I learned to like it back when I was in National Service.

"What you believe is religious thought and should be confined to your four walls." Well, if that's the case, it contradicts the very essence of our declarations of rights : the freedom of speech. If what I say is going to be called hate speech by you guys, and if you guys speak like haters, shouldn't I be calling your speech hate speech ?!!!

"The cell blocks are gonna be overpopulated. He killed, he might as well die." For all you know, he could be innocent, but lost against a bunch of good lawyers who managed to render him speechless. The fight in any court, even a criminal court, in an adversarial system like in the UK, like in the US, like even here in MY, is one where the judge sits back and compares the better lawyer. I'm not saying that all cases are judged unjustly, no. A handful of cases are judged in this way, but imagine the precious lives wasted because of this. For those who are truly proven guilty, who are we to take another life, even if it's sanctioned ? In MY, we kill drug traffickers. And sometimes, even those who don't even know they had drugs with them are sent to the gallows. I lament on this whole idea of capital punishment and if I have to cite someone who really championed the abolition of the death penalty, it's gotta be Robert Badinter. His passionate statements led to the abolition of the death penalty in France (note that she's one of the last few nations to have abolished the death penalty in Europe). And not to mention that I actually listened to the excerpt ! Also, a life is a life. During the life of Jesus Christ, the Pharisees wanted to stone a woman whom they caught in the act of adultery. Jesus simply drew a line in the sand and said, "Whichever of you who hasn't ever committed a sin shall cast the first stone." Technically, we all know that Christ did not sin. But he didn't cast the first stone. All he said was "Go, and sin no more." Capital punishment is nothing but vengeance disguised as law, and those who try to abolish it are sometimes seen to be enemies of the state.

And worse : it has now crept into our law syllabus. What I saw in the case of Re A was relativism played out for all the world to see. It's UNSIGHTLY. Full stop. Rights groups have been swayed by relativism. The entire thing that we're learning is nothing but hypocrisy, and there needs to be a compassionate bunch of people who stand up against this.

But it's true that whenever people like me fight for what is the truth, we're seen to be enemies of the state. We're persecuted for that very "reason". If not, we're silenced by the people around us, in particular, the people with power. Given that our newspaper reports contain much falsehood, chances are that we'd never know the struggles and the life of an innocent being. But the Lord notices this happening all the time, and I'm pretty sure that as we fight for the many different causes in the world, a few people are being silenced right now for standing up for the truth.

The dictatorship of relativism begins with the disregard of human life in all its forms, as well as the suppression of freedom of speech. Once indoctrinated into our society, we seem to be nothing but puppets. I am aware that a silent majority is very much against this so-called "doctrine", but where the drumbeat of relativism echoes, we're silenced. The ugly head of relativism has been contained by Malaysians, in that we're ever vigilant not to let it go free, but it's slowly creeping into our society. The Moral Studies syllabus in private colleges is only evidence of this.

I'm sure there are people among you readers who want to go against this. I'm sure there are among you who desire to march to the beat of a different drum. From the bottom of my heart, this has been my desire. I want to do everything, say everything, think everything in unconditional love, and that oftentimes means "putting myself in the front line for others". I'm truly blessed when I think of the friends who have noticed this love in me. But quite a lot of people don't realise this. Regardless, I'm not just gonna sit there and do nothing if someone pushes me back. I'm armed with a drum, a pair of sticks and a voice. I want to touch hearts, touch lives. I'm going to fight back.

Réflexion

I know a lot of you readers here are already in your teens, or are already adults, but I'm pretty sure you had moments in your childhood which you enjoyed. I, for one, enjoyed being by my mother's side, making music, listening to her as she told me stories, from the Bible, from history, from experience. Fast forward a decade and a few years and I'm now nineteen, and a law student and aspiring musician.

But will this have been possible if it were not for the gift of life ?

Now, reflect, as you read these words...

You're in the womb, just a few months into existence, everyone else knows you exist.

You can't see anything, but you can feel your tiny heart beating, and you want it to continue beating.

You hear your mother's heart beating, louder than yours, almost like a drum, and you find it such a pleasant sound.

You begin to grow and take shape. You respond to the outside world. Even though you don't know how to express yourself, you want to get out there and have a taste of life, you want to tell your mom how wonderful it is to live, you want to show it to her.

But your dreams are dashed when an intruder probes with a needle and punctures you in the very place which sustains you - your heart. It is then that you come to the sad realisation, in your dying moments, that no one wanted you to live.

Now, snap out of your dreaminess and remind yourselves that the same thing is happening to tens of thousands of children out there. I can't point out an exact figure, but as I am saying this, I reckon another abortionist would get his hands onto a suction machine or a needle and kill another life. Another Thomas Alva Edison. Another Yoko Shimomura. Another Leonardo da Vinci. Another Mother Teresa. Another (insert name of person who is renowned for his efforts here).

This has been echoed by several thousands of people who are pro-life, and I shall echo this too : abortion doesn't terminate pregnancy, as some people put it forward to discerning people. It terminates the baby. And to terminate a baby would only mean to kill it. Now, I know you're going to say "If you're pro-life, why not fight to stop the war ?" Oh teh n0es ! You all know that I'm against conscription, and having said thus, I'm against war. But unlike war, where there are weapons wielded by both sides engaged in combat, in abortion, a baby is killed. A weaponless, powerless, speechless, blameless baby, for crying out loud.

Take a look at yourselves and think of what would've happened, if you weren't able to see the light of day today. You already feel sad when you're alive and out in the world, and your parents disown you - what happens when they disown you in the womb itself ? Would you have come to know your friends, the people who care for you ? Would you have come across this post ? Would you have come to know the One who is inspiring me to write today ?

Now, I'm glad this thing doesn't happen in Malaysia, because abortion is against the law, and it should remain that way. But in my law classes, I've learnt UK law, and oh, how my heart aches when I read that abortion is not a criminal offence. Article 2 of the freakin' European Convention of Human Rights states that all people have the right to life, and a person who isn't born should not be denied that same right ! What do we get out of reducing a fetus to a less-than-human existence, when in essence, it is human, and should fall under the Convention ? You propound the abolition of the death penalty, but instead of killing adults, you kill defenceless babies !? And what happens to the goal of the United Nations to reduce child mortality ?

Choice sounds insinuating. "Choice" is used by political campaigners and even people sitting at the bench judging cases. The case of Re A was one of the landmark cases I studied back in my first year, where I discovered that abortion is actually allowed. They are actually paving the way for people to choose death over life, willingly giving up their humanity and destroying their offspring in the process. These are the people taken up purely by pleasures of the flesh, and now that I mention it, I bet you're beginning to shake your heads in disbelief, wondering why the law promotes hedonism. The law is supposed to provide principle. Not a reckless society. The opposite is happening today, and in developed countries, SHAME ON YOU !

I'm sure you all have seen my works today. What would've happened if I were not given the chance to see the light of day ? Would you get to see my covers, my works, and would you conclude that I have the potential to touch people's hearts, given the guidance and grace of the Lord ?

Well, the thing about abortion is that people gain praise for their actions, yet they don't know who exactly they're killing. This generation doesn't give a damn, but I'm pretty sure, if I were to cry out in the open and say that "X would've been the next Tetsuya Nomura (he's the developer of the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts series, by the way), but look, his evil parents put him to death !", the next generation would definitely not forgive abortionists for their acts. Or, it'd be hard to even forgive them.

Don't get me wrong, now. I don't want this pro-life thing to be motivated by hate. I love our kids. I want to see them live. And for those who are still waiting to get out there and live, I want them to get out there and live. If they're not wanted by their parents, at least there is someone who'd be willing to take these poor kids into his arms and care for them as his own.

Break the silence. Stop child mortality. Stop abortion.

“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.” Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Poor Maleficent ! What did they do to her ?

 The lesson to be learnt here : NEVER remaster a Disney classic.

A friend showed me the Spanish versions of Maleficent - the original, and the remastered version, and they're a world of difference.

This is the original...



Just look at the expression with which Maleficent is casting her spells and whatnot. Maleficent is meant to be pure evil, not anything else.

And look at the 2001 version :



A disappointing world of difference. -___-

Worst part is, I reckon that for the first Kingdom Hearts, Spanish gamers were stuck with the 2001 voice. Ouch.

OH TEH NOES ! D: That be a bad start to teh w0rld cup.

Yes, so the World Cup began yesterday. I'm no footie fan, but I follow the developments once every four years. From my works here, you can deduce that I'm supporting France.

The match I wanted to watch last night - Uruguay v France - well, I had to miss it because it was being screened live at 2-something in the morning, and my cut-off time is about 12+ every night... By the time I had actually hit the pillow, I had fallen asleep. But I know that I was kinda hoping France would win this one. That too, following all the ragging from Uruguay, saying that they have all that it takes to paralyse France...

So this morning I read the result :

Uruguay 0 - 0 France

OH NOES ! D:
And I obviously do not want France to be ruled out of the World Cup. After actually making the final in 2006 (where the headbutt and the events leading to it messed everything up), they had better put on a great show this year !

Français, supporteurs de la France, soyons solidaires !

Frustration over Web 3.0

When Tim Berners-Lee created the WWW phenomenon, he intended the web to be user-centred, abundant with information, with users themselves contributing to the web. Yes, even though we see Web 1.0-based content from time to time, now everything is within our reach.

A feature which defines Web 2.0 is social networking. Yes, when Google acquired YouTube, and later Blogger, it was a welcome change. But a whole Interweb flooded with social networks, blogs and personal logs ? Hmph, that could easily turn 95% of what we see here into junk, and only 5% of the Net would provide proper information.

The "breakthrough" which some people define as Web 3.0 (the term hasn't even officially existed yet) is FRUSTRATING. Yes, Facebook and Twitter simplified everything for everybody in that there are only two social networks needed to communicate everything to almost everybody in the world, but it seems that everything now is a popularity contest. Instead of the usual star system which we used to have, they've replaced everything with the "Like" button. That trend originated from Facebook, and now it's gone on to *gasp* YouTube as well :

I HATE THIS LIKE BUTTON WITH A PASSION.
The previous star system enabled us to know how well our videos were faring. Now, how do they even determine our video ratings ? How is it that my Schwarzweiss video obtained five stars when there are four or even five likes ?

And the new developments of social networking have enabled us to give virtual "gifts" to others.Well, perhaps a virtual chocolate fountain once in three months won't do any harm. But some people are searching for those "gifts" everyday for the sake of popularity. Facebook, Facebook, Facebook - WHY, OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INFLUENCE EVERY OTHER SITE IN THE WORLD ?

The fake gift-giving trend has spread its tentacles to DeviantArt, currently the most popular art-sharing site on the Net. Where earlier it was simply about having journal features and spreading the love, now, there is the new but rather annoying trend of SHARING LLAMA BADGES. O___O

If you take a close look at the screen, you'll notice that there is a llama badge on the top right corner of my page. Yes, they even have ranks for that llama. Apparently, you start with a llama, and then ten similar badges make a Super Llama, and then there's Albino Llama, Super Albino, and I don't know what other ranks exist. Yes, I can't help but smile and thank the person who sent me a llama - I know he was doing it in good faith, because I'm definitely not popular over the Net, and I usually keep it that way - if people want to follow me, they're most welcome to do so. But I'm irked by the fact that some people are actually BEGGING for llamas, CAMPAIGNING for llamas, as though this entire thing is some sort of popularity contest.

What is the Web 3.0 which some people speak of about, then ? Popularity contests ? Non-transparent rating systems ? Someone, please bring the old layouts back. Give us the old gold !

Inquiétude

Chère amie,



J’espère que tu viendras pour notre dernière épreuve jeudi.


Et j’espère que tu n’as rien.